Q ('95)

They've come, and often they've crumbled. So how well will this umbrageous-eyed questionnairee stand up to interrogation? And, more importantly, are there enough vowels in the Q box of letters to spell her name, which is, of course...Siouxsie.

What's the first thing you do when you wake up in the morning?

Scream

What was the first gig you went to?

Cliff Richard, Winter Gardens, Broadstairs, whilst on holiday with my mum. I was very young: four, five, or six.

Which song do you wish you had written?

Heartbreak Hotel. (Both performances by Elvis Presley and John Cale reign supreme.)

What is the best advice you've ever received?

Take no prisoners.

What is your most treasured material possession?

My broomstick.

Who was the last person you slept with?

A shapeshifter.

When did you last cry and why?

When I spilt my milk this morning.

What do you think of Bob Dylan?

I wouldn't invite him to a party. I was very disappointed to find out that Julie Driscoll didn't write This Wheel's On Fire.

What characteristics do you think you've inherited from your parents?

The curse.

What is the biggest myth about fame?

That it's financially rewarding.

What are you like when you're drunk?

Playful, lovable, or scary, depending on the situation.

Who would you have play you in a film?

Tallulah Bankhead.

Pick five words that describe yourself.

Female, cruel, kind, cheerful, manic-depressive.

Do you believe in God?

No. Yes. No?

Is there one piece of criticism that sticks in your mind?

Yes. It was a description which I guess was supposed to be a criticism, but I thought was wonderful: "A tarantula on stilts."

What is your most unpleasant characteristic?

I respond very strangely to advice that sounds like a command. For example, if I'm told it's very important to be nice to someone, then you have a red flag to a bad situtation. I'm not very nice.

What is your greatest fear?

That God exists.

What ambitions do you still have to fulfil?

To be able to pack in five minutes and get from A to B with a twitch of my nose.

Are you afraid of failure?

Yes, but I'm more afraid of being guided by it.

What do you never leave home without?

My "victim diviner" and "stiletto knife" cunningly disguised as lipstick. Touring is a perfect guise for the sport of serial killing. I do have a golden rule though: I only pick the ones that will never be missed. It's curious how most of the victims were once music journalists/editors. Their pathetic patter goes along the lines of "I used to be a rock critic once, you know. I even reviewed a Banshee album without listening to it...ahh..."

Who is your best male friend and your best female friend?

"Spider," the handsome black cat that walks on his own, and "Spooky," the fiery redhead from Toulouse.

Who would you most like to meet?

God.

What music would you have played at your funeral?

A wonderful mixture of Dem Bones, El Dia De Los Muertos by Siouxsie & The Banshees, Smokestack Lightning by Howlin' Wolf, some Astor Piazzola (tango), Duke Ellington, Count Basie & His Orchestra, Yma Sumac...a wake to shake the living.

When you look in the mirror, do you like what you see?

If they weren't always cracked, I'd be able to tell you.

Do you have anything to declare?

Yes..."The events and characters in this play are fictitious. Any similarity to actual persons, living or dead, or to actual events, is purely coincidental."